The Making of a Rebel
2 Samuel 13:13–15:12
The spirit of rebellion is thriving – especially among younger Americans according to new research. The survey of 2,000 Americans ages 21-26 revealed that Gen Z’ers are the most likely to live their life in a “rebellious fashion.” More than any other generation: 74% of Gen Z embrace their rebellious spirit, compared to only half of millennials (52%), and only 39% of baby boomers. Interestingly, rebellion is now seen as more than attitude: it’s a skill. Being rebellious as defined today is not just about defiance; it’s about creating a new identity and sense of empowerment – it's about carving your own path.
---One Poll, Jan. 2024
1 Samuel 15:23 (NLT)
Rebellion is as sinful as witchcraft (fortune telling), and stubbornness (to press or urge someone) as bad as worshiping idols.
Brain Development
Identity Formation
Evolutionary Theories
Parental and Societal Expectations
1. Rebellion begins with a passive or indulgent parent
2 Samuel 13:1–2, 6, 10–12, 14, 21 (NIV)
1 In the course of time, Amnon son of David fell in love with Tamar, the beautiful sister of Absalom son of David.
2 Amnon became frustrated to the point of illness on account of his sister Tamar, for she was a virgin, and it seemed impossible for him to do anything to her.
6 So Amnon lay down and pretended to be ill. When the king came to see him, Amnon said to him, "I would like my sister Tamar to come and make some special bread in my sight, so I may eat from her hand."
10 Amnon said to Tamar, "Bring the food here into my bedroom so I may eat from your hand." And Tamar took the bread she had prepared and brought it to her brother Amnon in his bedroom.
11 But when she took it to him to eat, he grabbed her and said, "Come to bed with me, my sister."
12 "Don't, my brother!" she said to him. "Don't force me. Such a thing should not be done in Israel! Don't do this wicked thing.
14 But he refused to listen to her, and since he was stronger than she, he raped her.
21 When King David heard all this, he was furious.
Violent games:
Increase aggression and reduce empathy and moral engagement leading to anxiety, mood disorders as well as social and emotional difficulties for children.
“The iPhone is a greater threat to the Gospel of Jesus in the West than secularism ever has been or ever will be.” - John Mark Comer This Cultural Moment
2. Rebellion takes root with suppressed anger
2 Samuel 13:20, 22 (NIV)
20 Her brother Absalom said to her, "Has that Amnon, your brother, been with you? Be quiet now, my sister; he is your brother. Don't take this thing to heart." And Tamar lived in her brother Absalom's house, a desolate woman.
22 Absalom never said a word to Amnon, either good or bad; he hated Amnon because he had disgraced his sister Tamar.
Matthew 5:21–22 (NIV)
21 "You have heard that it was said to the people long ago, 'Do not murder, and anyone who murders will be subject to judgment.'
22 But I tell you that anyone who is angry with his brother will be subject to judgment.
2 Samuel 13:37–39 (NIV)
37 Absalom fled and went to Talmai son of Ammihud, the king of Geshur. But King David mourned for his son every day.
38 After Absalom fled and went to Geshur, he stayed there three years.
39 And the spirit of the king longed to go to Absalom, for he was consoled concerning Amnon's death.
3. Rebellion grows in isolation
2 Samuel 14:23–24, 28, 33 (NIV)
23 Then Joab went to Geshur and brought Absalom back to Jerusalem.
24 But the king said, "He must go to his own house; he must not see my face." So Absalom went to his own house and did not see the face of the king.
28 Absalom lived two years in Jerusalem without seeing the king's face.
33 Then the king summoned Absalom, and he came in and bowed down with his face to the ground before the king. And the king kissed Absalom.
On average parents spend 44 minutes talking with their children:
Before school: 9 minutes
After school: 14 minutes
Dinner time: 11 minutes
Bedtime: 10 minutes
4. Rebellion is obsessed with outward image
2 Samuel 18:18 (NLT)
During his lifetime, Absalom had built a monument to himself in the King's Valley, for he said, "I have no son to carry on my name." He named the monument after himself, and it is known as Absalom's Monument to this day.
2 Samuel 14:25–26 (NLT)
25 Now Absalom was praised as the most handsome man in all Israel. He was flawless from head to foot.
26 He cut his hair only once a year, and then only because it was so heavy. When he weighed it out, it came to five pounds!
2 Samuel 15:1 (NLT)
After this, Absalom bought a chariot and horses, and he hired fifty bodyguards to run ahead of him.
5. Rebellion grows as it undermines authority
2 Samuel 15:2–7 (NLT)
2 He got up early every morning and went out to the gate of the city. When people brought a case to the king for judgment, Absalom would ask where in Israel they were from, and they would tell him their tribe.
3 Then Absalom would say, "You’ve really got a strong case here! It’s too bad the king doesn’t have anyone to hear it.
4 I wish I were the judge. Then everyone could bring their cases to me for judgment, and I would give them justice!"
5 When people tried to bow before him, Absalom wouldn’t let them. Instead, he took them by the hand and embraced them.
6 Absalom did this with everyone who came to the king for judgment, and so he stole the hearts of all the people of Israel.
7 After four years...
6. Rebellion is ultimately about control
2 Samuel 15:7–8 (NLT)
7 Absalom said to the king, "Let me go to Hebron to offer a sacrifice to the LORD and fulfill a vow I made to him.
8 For while your servant was at Geshur in Aram, I promised to sacrifice to the LORD in Hebron if he would bring me back to Jerusalem."
2 Samuel 15:11 (NLT)
He took 200 men from Jerusalem with him as guests, but they knew nothing of his intentions.
Proverbs 10:17 (NIV)
He who heeds discipline shows the way to life, but whoever ignores correction leads others astray.
Proverbs 19:18 (NIV)
Discipline your son, for in that there is hope; do not be a willing party to his death.
Proverbs 23:13–14 (MSG)
13 Don’t be afraid to correct your young ones; a spanking won’t kill them.
14 A good spanking, in fact, might save them from something worse than death.
Proverbs 29:17 (NIV)
Discipline your son, and he will give you peace; he will bring delight to your soul.
